How To Deal With Having A Dog Near You Anything Goes

So you’ve read the letters and newspaper articles about people hating on dogs? Well, editor Debs has some useful tips for those who lose their shit whenever a four-legged creature is near them. 

First, allow me to introduce you (and everyone) to the wonders of a dog. Yes, click here.

Big or small, dogs are really just the best thing God has created.

You may have your own misguided notions that mutts and mongrels are rabid, unhealthy dogs …

A photo posted by Toufu Pink (@themongrelking) on

“Oh my god! Black mongrels are like the most dangerous dogs on earth! AARGH!”  ?

But whatever it is, if you are like this guy below [Photo from]:


I have some tips for you.

If you ever find yourself in the blessed presence of a dog, here’s what to do:

1. Keep on breathing and stay calm
A dog is not a cue for you to lose your shit and start hyperventilating. No dog is going to rip your throat out.

2. DON’T screech, yelp, and scream
Because your high-pitch noises are only going to make the dog more excited. Remember, dogs don’t know words. They only know high-pitch sounds and low-pitch sounds. High pitch = COME TO MEEEE!!

3. Don’t glare at the dog either
Ok, you don’t own the lift, the lobby, the park, the walkway, and any public space for that matter. If you are offended that a dog is in the lift with you, you can choose to GET OUT.

4. But, if the owner lets you have the lift to yourself …
SAY THANK YOU, SMILE, and make friends with this neighbour who just displayed a serious amount of empathy towards you, an undeserving animal-hater.

5. Remember, a dog is basically a people-pleaser
It approaches you because he’s hoping to be friends! Stop acting like you are facing down the Hound of Satan. Just stay calm, stand still, breathe normally, and talk in your normal tone. Once the dog calms down, give him a pat on the head or tickle him under the chin.

6. There is no such thing as a “bad dog”
Only a “bad human”. If you see a dog “misbehaving”, chances are his human is doing something wrong. Blame the human. NOT THE DOG.

7. Pure breeds or mongrels … they are the same
Pure breeds are not any more or less precious. Mongrels are not any more or less unhealthy or dirty. Ditch your feudal thinking and learn to love all dogs.

8. Dogs can detect hostility 
I would advice you to cast out any evil thoughts and turn that frown upside down. Dogs feed off our energy and vibes so if you are friendly, loving, and come in peace, a dog will reciprocate and be friendly and gentle towards you.

Stop trying to Donald Trump on dogs. Kthnxbai.

She can’t sit still. Doesn’t sleep well either. But, Debs has found the one thing that’ll help her mind switch off – baking. There’s nothing she likes better than just focusing her energy on getting a cake or a pie to turn out right. With this newfound passion, she has made it a point to bring back interesting ingredients whenever she travels, so she can use them in her desserts. She names Tokachi of Hokkaido in Japan as one of her favourite places.


  1. Lisa Clark Says: December 20, 2016 at 3:05 am

    The tone of your article is extremely insensitive, especially in regard to people who have experienced negative and even life-threatening interactions with dogs or are family members of those who have. Labeling those who are uncomfortable with or fearful of dogs as “animal haters” is a perfect example of the behavior of the type of dog owner who creates problems both for dogs and the people uncomfortable sharing space with them. How about trying to be aware that many people have good reasons for feeling the way that they do rather than assuming they are irrational curmudgeons who don’t know what they’re talking about? Dog attacks are no laughing matter. People die from dog attacks every year, and many more face expensive, difficult surgeries from mauling. It only takes one such attack for a survivor to develop often crippling fear and anxiety in public, especially when dogs are ubiquitous. It is not incumbent upon society as a whole to bend over backwards and accommodate dog owners who want to insist that everyone loves their dog. It is incumbent upon dog owners to control their animals in a manner that prevents them from being nuisances or hazards. Not only is that the law, it’s common sense. If you have never experienced the terror of a life threatening animal attack, you have no business chiding anyone for their reactions to an unfamiliar dog. Your so called “advice” is a thinly veiled attempt at shaming people for having a phobia and victim blaming those who are attacked. Who’s the Donald Trump here?

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