Warning: Don’t have popcorn with this movie marathon.
The Go Away editors have different tastes in horror films. Denise likes movies like Insidious, well-made horror movies with some form of an intelligent plot behind them. Lili likes a bit of gore mixed in with a dash of supernatural and psychological thingy … think Babadook type of movies. Vanessa … well … let’s just say the last time we took her to watch a horror movie, she covered her eyes for more than 90 percent of the time.
As for me. Well … it’s not that I like a particular kind of horror movie …. it’s more like … I find myself inexplicably drawn to horror movies with an unbelievable amount of YUCK. Over my years of indulging in an unhealthy amount of gore, I have selected 6 movies that will make the best Halloween movie marathon line-up, if all you guys want is to go, “Euuuugh!!”
1. Slither (2006)
A local thug gets infected by an alien parasite. He goes on to impregnate his mistress with hundreds of alien worms. The woman, whom he keeps locked up in a barn and feeds her monstrous appetite with dead animals, becomes huuuuggge, growing almost to the size of the barn before she explodes and releases even more alien worms into the small town they live in. If you think this is gross, wait. As the movie progresses, you will realise that those infected by the worms will merge with the thug, who has by now become a human flesh mountain. Think a fleshy mass of melted flesh with human faces screaming out in agony. Yep. Classic stuff nightmares are made of.
Gore factor: 4/5
2. The Descent (2005)
This movie has two very important lessons: 1. Cave diving is scary shit; 2. Don’t piss off a woman. A group of girl friends decide to go cave diving after one of them survives a tragic car accident that killed her husband and daughter. They soon encounter a group of humanoid crawlers that hunt by sound. One by one, they get picked off in the most bloodcurdling manner you can imagine. The protagonist finds herself in a bloody pool of human carcasses – sort of like a pantry for these creatures – before fighting her way out. Soon she realises she and another friend are the only survivors, AND this friend is also her late husband’s mistress. She breaks the other woman’s leg and leaves her at the mercy of the crawlers.
Gore factor: 3.5/5 (Tip: Watch this film in complete darkness, if you can)
3. Clown (2014)
Loving father hires a clown for his son’s birthday party. Unfortunately, the clown went to the wrong party. Even more unfortunate, the dude finds an old clown suit in an attic of a house he is helping to sell and puts it on to entertain his kid and friends. He falls asleep in the suit and wakes up to find that it is merging with his own skin. The wig, the nose, everything! Turns out the clown suit is actually the skin of an ancient demon and can only be taken off once he consumes 5 children. Rest of the movie isn’t actually that gross but just the thought of becoming one with a clown suit was enough to send shivers down my spine.
Gore factor: 3/5
4. Tusk (2014)
A not-very-nice guy travels to Canada and gets held against his will by a shipwreck survivor who was rescued by a walrus. Mr. Not-Very-Nice Guy wakes up to find his leg amputated and learns from his captor that he plans to mutilate him further until he can be sewn into a walrus costume made of human skin. Our victim calls his girlfriend and apologises for having cheated on her. Girlfriend and friend then go on a rescue mission. Although they eventually find him, he appears to have been irreparably damaged and will live out the rest of his life as a walrus in a sanctuary.
Gore factor: 4.5/5
5. The Human Centipede (2009)
Believe it or not, this original went on to spawn 2 more sequels, with the final one resulting in a human centipede made out of 500 prison inmates surgically connected mouth to anus. We shall, however, talk about the first. Two female American tourists get kidnapped by a crazed German doctor. He joins them with a truck driver. One of the girls is selected as the middle segment of this human centipede, and she is subjected to the stomach churning fate of having to ingest whatever comes out from the truck driver’s behind.
Gore factor: 5/5
6. The Thing (1982)
Don’t waste your time on the 2011 remake starring Joel Edgerton. The 1982 is waaaaaaay better. There is something hypnotic about flesh stretching and melting like mozzarella cheese, and the images in this version will sear themselves into your mind FOREVER. A research team based in the Antarctic encounters a parasitic alien life form that can imitate organism and assimilate the host it infects. Don’t miss the operating room scene where a guy turns into a human spider with an upside down face. Yeah … really.
Gore factor: 6/5!!!! (It’s the most disturbing thing I’ve seen)